Every girl puts up a battle every single day

A friend of mine shared a video from a talk show where they were discussing reasons for rape (I am not sure)

I saw this lady (probably in her late 30s) talk about a cross dressing guy who worked with her. She said he would always leave a little early because he was tormented by people on the roads. So when she casually left right after him she saw that a lot of guys were teasing him and commenting upon him not knowing that he was a guy dressed as a girl. So finally she concluded that it is always the way girls dress that makes a guy show his supremacy on us and go to the level of rape.

I am sure that woman has no children or at the least no daughters. If she had, she wouldn’t have spoken that way. If you are one of those people who are asking “what is wrong with her theory?” Let me explain you what a typical girl goes through in a public place irrespective of what she is wearing.

First let us take the example of an adolescent girl who hasn’t yet attained puberty but her body starts developing in strange ways. She is wearing her school uniform and realizes it is a little tight in the bust region because she did not understand that her breasts were developing. She still wears a dupatta over the top and walks to her school. Say there is a bus stop on the way to her school and a bunch of college students are waiting for their bus there. Will they be silent? No… They will start pointing out that she is evolving and pass out comments. If that girl has a fair complexion they will pass on word to their friends and the next day there will be a bigger herd present at that bus stop. If this girl complains to her friends some of them will shrug it off and some will explain this is how things will be from now on. Once she does attain puberty her mother will probably tell her that she is going to be sort after from now on and she better dress properly while going out. Too bad that advice never works.

Now this girl has entered college and has to board a crowded bus every morning for 2 hours in order to get to her college. She dresses up decently. No tight fit salwars. Wears the dupatta properly and even wraps her face with a scarf. The only skin that is showing out would be her hands. Do the male population let her travel peacefully? Nope! They stand next to her, try and touch her hand, stand so closely that she can feel their breathe on her neck and blame it on the crowded nature of the bus, sometimes even grope her. What do the others watching all of this do? Nothing! If you think all of this is done by guys her age, teenagers again you are wrong. Most of the time guys in their twenties don’t have time to do all of this. 70% guys of that age look at the girl from a distance and smile. The maximum they do is talk among themselves because if that guy is boarding the bus he has enough things to worry about. The bullshit is done by the male species who are living beyond the age of 35 and school going boys. Yes you read it right! School going boys do all of this.

So whom are you to blame here? Again the girl who wraps herself with layers of clothes inspite of the burning heat?

Oh are you one of those mad idiots who says that she shouldn’t wear a jeans-kurti but she should be a nice traditional girl and wear saree?

Did you know that the saree is the most sexiest dress? It gives the male population more to imagine than a jean-kurti can give.

Also when a girl is being harassed in public what does the rest of the population do? Stand and enjoy the show maybe? I am not sure. In my 10 years after attaining puberty never once have I seen a stranger male help me when I am stuck in such a situation or have I heard another girl being helped as well. I have a lot of male friends and all of them fall under the 70% category I mentioned earlier who are oblivious to such things that happens to their female buddy. Can I blame them? No! Guys generally don’t have such observational skills.

So what can be done at all? I am not sure. You just cannot hire a body guard. But then you can make yourself stronger. Not physically. But mentally. Half the time all it takes is a strong stare at the abuser. If he is still going on doing what he is already doing go to the nearest group of people and ask for help (do it only if you are in a public place by yourself and only in broad daylight)

If someone tries to get near you at night walk away as fast as possible and pray to the lord that you shouldn’t be the headlines in any newspaper the next morning. What more can we do?

 

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