Being a friend

We all have that one friend who is always in a sad mood. We also have this one friend who puts everyone at ease in the group and cracks joke. This friend will lighten up the saddest person as well. Why do they do it? Because they love making their friends smile. Not because they want everyone to be happy. He/she can never bring complete happiness into one’s life. But the least they can do is make them cherish the small good stuff that is still reachable for them.

But when this happy friend becomes sad, does anybody else try to cheer him/her up? That is the problem of being the group’s joker. No one takes them seriously. When they go through something and they talk about to their friends all they get is a “Chuck it” or “Life is unfair, deal with it” Snape-like responses. Saying such a thing is so darn easy. But for once I request everyone to just think about how it feels to be on the receiving side of such words when all you needed was a ear to listen and shoulder to lean on when you feel limp.

Is this some kind of advice column where I say “treat others like the way you want to be treated by others”? Well you can say that.

But this is not exactly an advice or anything. Just a request to all the friends out there. When a dear friend comes to you and says they are feeling insecure and troubled, give them a hug. Not a lecture. They have to pack up a lot of courage to actually say that out. So when someone comes to you first listen to what they have got to say. They don’t need solutions. Trust me they would have figured it out by the time they come to you. But they just want a little assurance that there is someone out there who would help them up if they were to fall down. Because they know that they are going limp.

Don’t start scolding them and asking them to suck it up or get strong. They are pretty strong to accept that they are going weak. If a person is going weak it means they have been holding out for so long. Just let them speak. They will appreciate that.

Don’t say you are worried about them. They won’t say another word once you express your concern. They come to you because they are worried about themselves. And when you say that you are also worried, they will just think that they are putting you under a lot more stress and leave.

Listen. Not to reply. But just listen to what they have got to say. That is all that matters when a friend comes to you in need of emotional support. Let them cry on your shoulder. They can’t hug a pillar and cry. The pillar won’t hug them back.

All they need are a few magic words and a little care shown in your eyes. “I am there for you.” They know it. But say it out. It is not like it is going to cost you a million dollars to say that. Be a friend who is always there for them.


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