I really can’t coin what was given to me as an advice. Because advice is something you can take up or ignore. This particular statement has sort of become my mantra for life now. And it is one of those sentences that is the reason I am still here.
In a lot of situations we tend put others before us. We prioritize someone without realizing that we have no part in their priorities list. We get attached to something so much that it hurts a lot when we lose it. We have the habit of putting our happiness in the hands of others.
Isn’t that a bad thing? We think that the presence of another person would make everything right in our lives. We tend to give our all for that person. But what happens when that person leaves? What happens when that person never thought of us that way? Or when that person had been merely using you?
Its us who gets devastated. The loss, the pain comes only to those who do not prioritize themselves. Being selfish is not wrong. Instead of holding on to something that is going to leave scars, let go. Time will heal it. And at one point of time you would even forget that you were holding on to something like that.
I had such a trouble. I was even harming myself at one point of time. Thought that would ease the mental/emotional pain I was in. The few times I thought I was being selfish, I was still putting my happiness in someone else’s hands. I was so wrong.
When I say that I had to go through the hardest way to understand that it is okay to be genuinely selfish. When I say hardest way, I mean it. My brother uses this particular phrase. Every single time we talk over phone, the conversation would steer in that direction leading him to use it.
In case of emergency, wear your own oxygen mask first and then help the others.
This is no selfish act. It is a mere act of survival. It is okay to put yourself first.
If you think someone is going to be hurt because of that, honey! You really don’t need that person in your life. And right now I see so many of my friends pretty much suffering because they are not able to put themselves first.
You think this person is emotionally abusing you? Leave them. Your inner peace is more important than how that person feels.
Someone is pulling you down with their negativity? Get some space. “Who will make that person feel better?” Well I got a question for you. Who is going to make you feel better?
You feel no one loves you? Good… No one is ever going to keep loving us. Lets love ourselves.
If we are not ready to take care and love ourselves, then who is going to do it? Mother Teresa?
Every time I feel down, I talk to this particular friend of mine. She also gives me the same advice. It is okay to think about yourself. It is okay to pamper yourself. It is absolutely okay to be selfish.
I am not saying we need not care about anybody else. I am just saying lets put our name first in the list of “To care” before any other name.
We deserve that much.
This is part of the discover challenge : A Piece of Advice