Moved to Tears…

I initially sat down to write on another prompt. But this one sort of pulled me more. So I came across this prompt

     Describe the last time you were moved to tears by something beautiful

And there was this really amazing experience I had in recent times that was dangerously close to what the prompt had asked for. As a result I had to ofcourse share it here on my blog. Where else would I go and rant like the crazy person that I am?

Around a month ago I travelled up north to Manali. Now this is the first time I have been to actual North (Pune is apparently not North India it seems). And I was excited for it was going to be a partial camping trip apart from home stays and such. It involved treks. So I got a new pair of trekking boots and broke into them. Prepared a bit for the trek. I mean I was told it was going to be all beginner level trek. Nothing too tedious. But then the trek was not really the focus of our trip. It was more of exploring the place. So I did not think much into it.
On our second day there we were told we would be trekking down to a water falls. We packed up our lunch and I took my camera with me. I was told the place is so amazing but very few photographers have been down there. So it was going to be one heck of a place to photograph. And then the trek began. Our entire group was not essentially a pack of fit people. All of us had more than enough body fat that weighed us. So it was a slow progress. I as usual trailed almost with the guide who was trailing the pack. I enjoyed the slow pace of it and this way I could talk with them and get some stories too.

This is where we began…

There was a lot of down hill much to my dismay. Climbing up is actually sort of okayish. You can crawl up on all fours. No judgements. No hard feelings. But down hill is sort of tricky. You need to get your footing right. You need to let your feet guide you. But then my body does not behave like that of a normal human being. My limbs sort of lack that usual instinct we are built with. And the terrain was pretty much loose sand. There weren’t a lot of trees or roots that I could hold onto as well. And slowly slowly, I felt a panic attack brewing inside of me. It was terrifying. I mean I was among a bunch of people and I am trying to calculate my steps as carefully as possible and that is when a wave of panic hits me. I start breathing funny. I have to sit down. And tears start forming wells in my eyes. I am not able to tell anyone what is going on because I myself had no idea why I was getting an attack there. I love nature. I was with some friends. We were cracking jokes and having fun. But why? I never knew. I don’t think I want to analyse it as well.
One of my friends got my bag from me, one other friend held my hand tight and another one was right behind me. I got a ton of help though. And I was told just a few more meters to the destination. Relief did not wash over me. I wanted it to. And then somehow I managed to convince them and sent them ahead. The guide who was trailing behind came to my aid. And then we reached the rocky surface. A huge boulder was all that was between me and this amazingly beautiful water falls. A glacier made stream surrounded almost by a canyon. I just sat there on that boulder. As I let tears flow freely. And then I saw this beauty right in front of me, a smile creeped onto my face.

I was crying and smiling at the same time. Something I honestly never thought I would ever do in my life. I had no one consoling me or anything. I was just there trying to calm my nerves and there she was Mother Nature embracing me with her majestic tranquility. All I could hear was the sound of water.

I was not crying from the panic attack anymore. But I realized I was shedding tears from the wonder that just happened. For the first ever time in my miserable life I was crying out of happiness because this was totally worth the panic attack and the trek. The marvel that I was sitting before… Nature was so incredible and angelic that it moved me to tears. I am thankful that it did.

And this is the beauty I was talking about!!!!

 

Yeah that was me sitting on the boulder…

Lessons I Learnt: 

  • It is okay to ask for help when you feel stuck. You are not some super being to do everything easily without any help.
  • It is perfectly okay to crawl on all fours if you feel that is how you could get to your destination. This does not affect your dignity or self respect. You are doing what you can do at a certain situation.
  • When you are tired, sit down. Catch your breathe. It never makes sense to keep pushing yourself if you are going to pass out when you have reached the destination.
  • Most important of all…. Learn to listen to your body. Your body knows better than you do.
  • Even more important than everything. It is okay to cry. It is okay to break down. It just tells you how strongly you have been holding everything.
  • Finally smile at the smallest of things and even at bigger things!

 

All of these things go well while you prepare for a trek and they also go very well when dealing with mental health issues. In a lot of ways both of them are so similar that it could be your answer to a lot of things too…

 

 

 

 

 

I found this prompt at https://dailypost.wordpress.com/ 

This is part of the 365 Writing Prompts from Daily Post. The link for which could be found below. 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/postaday/ebook-365-writing-prompts/

 

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